You’re Not a Failure if You Give Up. No, Seriously.
PSST: Failure isn’t necessarily bad; it gives you insight
I’m preparing for yet another move — this time to an overpriced mistake of an apartment that will buy me time to get my life in order before I leave for Bakersfield come May. The apartment is one of those joints where you’re met with a “chore list” and are penalized for exhaling. Case in point: I was fined $60 before I even rolled in because my cat is 18 pounds instead of the allotted 15.
Welcome home, kitty cat!
When I feel blue, I pull up snaps of my new home. I imagine padding up and down the stairs in socked feet. I picture myself fixing butternut squash chili in the 1940s kitchen. I see myself strolling. Taking up yoga again and all the things. Fantasies sustain me amidst the dread of moving into a home that resembles a totalitarian state.
But I digress.
I’ve achieved great things in my life — I’ve had two books published, I have a master’s degree (which means a lot to me even though it means nothing to the entire planet), I survived a terrifying childhood without turning into Ted Bundy, I had the fancy jobs with the bold-faced titles, I helped people. I’m no longer a raving asshole — though I still rave on occasion, but it’s not asshole in nature. It’s…