You too can be a millionaire if you hustle hard. I thought I’d blocked all these mediocre white bros, but apparently not. You know the type. They pose with their fast cars and designer shades. Their bank account is their ultimate flex, and they trot out those show pony zeros whenever they get the chance. But they want you to know they’re human too. When cut, they bleed, even if their deepest cut comes from a butter knife.

Their voices are indistinguishable. Their pitch is genius and formulaic.

They worship at the altar of billionaires (if I read one more fucking Elon Musk article, I’m going for jugulars), who’ve managed to…