You are 100% right. And I honestly should've mentioned race (and anyone else who's basically not white, straight, Christian, etc.) because white feminism has become extremely toxic--especially amongst women who consider themselves progressive.

I've had a lot of Black colleagues share similar situations where they have to be even more quiet and genteel because of the "angry" stereotype, which is bullshit and serves to silence and pacify people into submission.

I've had a lot of arguments with people who tell me my thinking is divisive. Yes, because we are still divided. And if white supremacy and patriarchy aren't dismantled, how on earth can any of us believe we're all on the same side where some people like (perhaps without really acknowledging it or not conscious of it) to benefit from patriarchy/white supremacy.

And why should we feign allegaince when it's clear that we aren't?

I don't know why I got so angry when I saw the comments on Britney Spear's IG. I mean, I don't know her, she's a stranger and a celebrity. And I'm not even a mother. But I sat there and thought, here are women forever complaining that they aren't valued as mothers, they never have enough resources, they're always judged, they never have balance (all right and true) and then they go ahead and judge so harshly women who don't hold up to the imaginery standards they want to dismantle. I DON'T GET IT.

People want this woman who has been damaged to smile and stay sweet (fuck, now I'm quoting LDS terminology) and go away because she's a reminder that things are FUCKED UP and continue to be FUCKED UP.

Okay, this might have been my longest comment ever. I have a lot of emotion around this and I still need to unpack it.