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Where Have All The Weirdos Gone?
I miss a time before whoring for the algorithms became the norm.
Tell me if this sounds familiar:
Take the day off so you can return refreshed on Monday. You’re weird. Why are your words so bombastic, so multi-syllabic, so mouthy — requiring me to do the drudgery of looking up its meaning online? Be a savage, a saber-toothed beast and excise that first paragraph. I assure you it’s painless. Nobody needed it. We’ve got to get to the meat. Craft titles that deliver a benefit, a promise. Bold, but don’t be belligerent about it. Be clear, be precise, give the children sugar so the medicine goes down. All the way down. Hold their hand, their eyes, and speak softly into their fragile ears because nobody reads, nobody understands, nobody cares. Add an odd number to the title so people know there are five easy ways to make money to buy things you don’t need to fill an empty life of Sisyphean want.
Did you know there are three simple steps you can take to make a million dollars in five months? 3, 1, 5. Did you know we’re no longer making art because we’re too busy going viral. And why bother? An AI tool can write books for us anyway.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Nobody reads. It’s all about video. Snap to attention, kids, we’ve got a show for you! Contort…
