Terry,

I completely understand. Mental health is tricky because it’s not only stigmatized in our culture (the thing we shouldn’t really talk about openly, though not as taboo as other topics), but no one wants to feel like they’ve said or done the wrong thing.

I say this only from the perspective of myself and private online support groups — people just want someone to ask if they’re okay and offer help. You don’t have to define what form that help takes or you don’t have to solve their problems, but people often feel (as you can see from some of the comments on this post from people who have depression) ignored.

And hey — it’s your life, you can choose to not do anything. I get it, we’re all busy, it’s hard, but I wish more people would at least offer SOMETHING instead of nothing. It doesn’t have to be binary (all in or no help), but maybe “I hope you’re okay. I’ve been thinking about you…” etc.

Thanks for your thoughtful and kind response.

Cheers, Felicia