OMG, Meaghan. This was so beautiful. I hear you re: fear. I've gone through bouts of it--even more so because social media and online writing has gotten so performative. I realize the irony of what I'm about to say is deep, real, and true, but people care more about the presentation of the THING and how the THING is perceived instead of caring about the THING itself. If that makes any sense.

And, oh, Christ, have I had so many haters leave awful comments on every iteration of my writing journey. I'd be lying if I didn't say it doesn't sting a little, but then it goes away as quickly as it came and now I think--if I'm being honest and wholly me, there are people who are going to be on my bus and people who want to throw tomatoes at it. I have to focus on the twenty-odd people filling those seats instead of the noise outside of the doors.

That's what's worked for me. I'm NOT popular, trendy, or cool, and I find that posturing to be exhausting. I'd rather feel proud of what I put out in the world (and it need not be prolific, it just needs to be from ME) than proud of its performance. That's honestly the only way I've grown as a person and a writer.

xo, f.