Often, I think people confuse "that one time they were sad" with mental illness and believe "mind over matter" can cure it. Funny they never use that same analogy with physical diseases such as cancer. It's almost as if these people believe we conjured mental illness for fun or attention--if only they'd experience our lows for a day. Then, they'd realize a Tony Robinson seminar does not a cure make.
My mother had borderline personality disorder and I am convinced she was a narcissist (although she wasn't formally diagnosed since she didn't believe in therapy or psychiatry). Growing up with her was terrifying and I spent half my life trying to reconcile the first half of it.
I've been diagnosed (late, when I was 40) with severe clinical depression. Medication and a mindful lifestyle HELP, but it doesn't cure what I have. I go through periods of intense and debilitating suicidal and intrusive thoughts--something which is completely out of my control. Many people feign allyship, until depression is at their doorstep. I've lost so many friends because they don't understand that depression simply doesn't get cured with medication, it's fucking MANAGED.
This concept of using life hacks is possibly one of the few things that actually makes me scream. It's cruel, ignorant, and dangerous. The last time I went dark--it got dark--and I kept thinking about logistics. I'll stop there since I don't want to trigger anyone who might read this. Did I want to think these thoughts? Did I want to feel this way? Do I always want to feel like I'm not normal? OF FUCKING COURSE NOT.
Anyone who actually suffers from mental illness knows they don't want this. And thinking happy thoughts isn't going to magically stop me from thinking about suicide--it's my medication, it's my support system, it's my therapy, it's my trying to live a healthy life. These things get me through each dark period, and YES, there have been many. And I'm certain there will be a time I'll think these thoughts again.
Mental illness is a disease that we bear, we manage, and deal with--not make it disappear with the latest self-help tips or mantras.
It wasn't until I read some of the comments that I realized this piece was in response to something Tim Denning wrote. I'm glad I blocked that guy--a man who capitalized on a woman who died by suicide, a woman who blocked him when she was living. This guy wrote a story about her and put it behind a paywall, and I was so sickened by the callous nature of people like him that I blocked the fucker and I haven't looked back.
I have no idea why people read his work. I have no idea why people seem to think mental illness can be cured.
Sidebar--can we talk about the COST of managing mental illness. Before I had health insurance, I was paying $1200 a year for a generic of Wellbutrin. And that's just the MEDS.
